Tonight Andy and I sat, drinking a bottle of cheap bubbles and talked about Louie like we usually end up doing once he has gone to bed (obsessive much?). Also about how lucky we are. Our situation this year has been amazing, both at home all day with our boy - Andy working in his office but able to share in so many daily moments, the wake-up smiles, outside baths, the firsts. All those days, those first special days, are ours. I am so grateful to be able to stay home with him. Even though some tough days I look up the situations vacant. Frazzling, wakeful days where I think going away to work sounds perfect. But then a day comes along like today where I suddenly see how much you've grown, how wide-eyed and switched on you are, and I thank my lucky stars these days with you are mine because they are fleeting, almost gone. Soon these days will belong to someone else, a teacher or carer. They'll see you roll a grape around in your mouth and spit out the skin. It'll be them you look over your shoulder at, proud with your latest achievement. They'll pick you up when you bury your head in your hands crying with frustration over some annoyance. And I have to be ok with that because it's important you have lots of people in your life, people who love you and help you to grow. But right now these days are ours.
- 12:33 AM
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