- 10:37 PM
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"All babies are different", "They get there in their own time", "You'll wish he wasn't rolling/walking/crawling when he does it". With almost every developmental milestone I couldn't really care less when Louie does it, because it's true, he'll get there. But I couldn't help it, I was really concerned he hadn't laughed. Just a few days shy of six months and he still hadn't really laughed apart from a kind of Precious Pup breathy chortle and a fake cough when he found something amusing. I tap danced, peek-a-boo-ed, made monkey noises, tickled ears/toes/tummy/chin. Nada. The kid is a tough audience.
But a breakthrough this week! Propped up on my bed while I took snaps of him eating his sock he decided this was silly and worth a giggle. And another. And then he didn't stop.
I burst into tears so that might be the last time he laughs for a while. We're back to the fake cough now but I know those giggles are in there. Perhaps he's just got a dry sense of humor. Whatever kid, I love you, you make me laugh every single day.
- 10:02 AM
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And why should I? You're criminally cute.
Bathtime / BFF / Poseurs / Teething / Favourite toy ever / Tummy time / Andy' Birthday cake / Birthday double yolkers for Andy and Louie! (I ate Louie's...)
- 12:04 PM
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I see myself in Louie, in his face, his little concentrated scowl, his flickering quizzical eyes. But then I think it's actually you I'm seeing and that I'm just so familiar with your face that I start to recognize those things as mine. In any case, everybody says he is a mini you and I'm so glad.
- 12:27 PM
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Happy six month birthday Louie my boy. You have grown up with ease and grace, and now, so must I. It is time to shake off First Time Mother's Syndrome.
From here on in I'll try:
* to let you be grizzly/wriggly/grumpy/quiet without Googling "my baby is grizzly/wriggly/grumpy/quiet"
* not to photograph every little thing you do all the time and instead;
* to spend more time watching you grow, learn and be
* to keep discovering the world alongside you
* not to worry when you change the rules
* to enjoy you, at your pace
* not to let the grizzles get to me
* to continue doing all I can to ensure you are happy
* to stop at least 80% of the pointless worrying
* to let the guilt go
* to be more confident in my decisions
* to listen to and trust my instincts
You are total amazingness Smoosh. I love you more than you will ever know.
- 10:34 AM
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I looked down into Louie's sleeping face tonight, holding him for the 20minute upright time after his bedtime feed (the rules, the rules!) and suddenly I thought back to the night you and I re-met up in Nepal. We went to a bar in Kathmandu, just the two of us, Kate stayed behind. We sat and drank cheap Nepalese Whiskey and talked and talked and talked and I felt like I'd come home. Like I'd not talked properly in the two years we had been apart. It was like talking to the very best version of myself. Anyway, it felt alive, exciting, familiar and so right. That's the thing that beats on in Louie and makes me wonder at the wonder of it all.
- 11:25 PM
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